For some, building a long and happy marriage comes naturally but that doesn’t mean they don’t put in time and effort to make it work. Whether you’re a newly-wed or have been married for quite some time, challenges will arise. But don’t be disheartened! Read on to find out simple tricks that will bring a long and happy marriage. If you’re looking to rekindle the flame, this one is for you too!
Communication Is Key
In my opinion, this is an important area to pay attention to if you want a long and happy marriage. Conflicts usually arise when couples make assumptions about each other or bottle up the feeling of dissatisfaction. If a particular issue concerns you, talk to your partner about it. Making assumptions that aren’t true will make your marriage suffer. Also, understand that your partner can’t read your mind. Don’t like how your partner is behaving in public? Tell them privately. Think your partner isn’t doing enough housework? Let them know. Being transparent with your partner gives them the chance to improve themselves and cultivate your relationship with each other. Just make sure to do it with respect!
Give Each Other Space
Marrying your partner doesn’t mean that they have to devote all their time to you. I’m sure you have a life outside your marriage and so does your partner! Give them some freedom to catch up with their friends and family. This allows them to reconnect, bond and build an alternative social support network. Spending time away from each other also enables both of you to pursue your own interests and reduce stress in the relationship. So go ahead and schedule a night out with your girlfriends this coming weekend!
Spend Time With The In-Laws
This may come as a surprise but spending time with the in-laws is an underrated trick to a long and happy marriage. Some couples refuse to do so because they think their in-laws dislike them. At times, things don’t turn out smoothly during the first meeting. Hence, it’s important not to assume the worst in others as all relationships take time to build. Plan occasional dinners and vacations with your in-laws so you could better understand them. Encourage your partner to do the same and you’ll strengthen your marriage and your relationship with the in-laws.
Express Genuine Gratitude
When someone says a heartfelt “thank you” to you, it makes you feel happy and appreciated right? Try to cultivate the habit of saying “thank you” to your partner at least once a day. Acknowledging their contributions, no matter how big or small, demonstrates that you notice his or her thoughtfulness. If your partner doesn’t usually say “thank you”, he’ll probably start doing it too!
Make Time For Meaningful Conversations
When you and your partner were dating, I’m sure both of you have plenty to talk about. Maybe it’s on a theory you’ve once learned in class or ideas on how to make meetings more efficient. These conversations are random but they usually lead to something more interesting, inspiring and even educational. Most married couples don’t have meaningful conversations with each other due to the lack of time and energy (at least, these are the most common excuses). But they allow you to learn more about your partner’s evolving views and how they see the world. Set aside 15 minutes at the end of the day or on weekends to talk about anything but kids and bills. If you have time to scroll through Instagram and Facebook, you can set aside time to talk. Conversations are key for a long and happy marriage!
Let The Small Things Go
Another effective trick to a long and happy marriage is learning how to let the small things go. It could be your husband not washing up after a meal or your wife eating all your snacks without asking you. We tend to fight about these things but we need to realize that we can’t change him/her if they themselves don’t want to change. If you marry your partner despite knowing his/her bad habits, that means you’ve made the decision to live with them. Why insist that they change now? Don’t brood on the little things. It’ll only benefit your health and marriage!
It’s Not Just About The Kids
Most couples devote all their time and energy to their children but that’s not always the best approach. Everyone wants to feel cared for or play a significant role in someone else’s life. If you give priority to your children and cast your partner aside, how do you think that will make him/her feel? After all, you’re married to your partner. Be sure to spend some time reconnecting with your partner (i.e. go scuba diving or go on movie dates) and investing in your marriage. Building a strong and loving relationship takes effort and if you love your children, this is the best decision you’ll ever make.
Ask Politely, Don’t Demand
When you order food at a diner, you say please and thank you right? Now think about how you talk to your partner. Do you ask them nicely for a favour or do you find yourself using phrases such as: “you should mow the lawn when you’re free” or “go pick up the kids after work”. If you do the latter, it’s time to learn how to ask politely. Firstly, no one likes to be bossed around (that includes you). Secondly, your partner deserves your respect. And finally, letting your partner know you need help by asking nicely will make them feel needed, which could potentially increase the likelihood of them offering to hand in the future.
Work On Yourself
Have you always wanted to take up meditation to help yourself handle stress? Does a bubble bath rejuvenate you? Engage in activities that feed your inner soul. Putting yourself in a positive state of mind will allow you to be better at handling conflicts and challenges at home. If you prefer to spend your free time on education – through reading, attending lectures or watching educational videos on YouTube – by all means do it!
Checking In With Your Partner
When was the last time you asked your partner how he/she is feeling? Do you even know if they’re overwhelmed at work or if they need emotional support? Checking in with your partner is an essential step to a long and happy marriage. It shows that you care and that you’re available whenever he or she needs to talk. Chances are they’ll be delighted that you asked and will be more vulnerable around you. Be sure to be a good listener and if you need to give any advice to your partner, be gentle.
Perform Small Acts Of Kindness
There’s no need to spend on diamond jewellery, gourmet meals or expensive watches in an attempt to make your marriage last. Instead, try to perform random acts of kindness for your partner. It could be as simple as giving your partner a day off from house chores, surprising him with his favourite cake or giving him massage after a long day at work. These pleasant little surprises demonstrate your love for your partner. As you continue to build a healthy and loving relationship, your thoughtfulness will be reciprocated. Happy + satisfied life with partner = long + happy marriage!
Have healthy conflicts
This probably comes as a surprise but having healthy conflicts is good for your marriage! But what are they? A healthy conflict occurs when you and your partner have disagreements on an issue but both of you work together to come up with a solution. There’s no emotional, verbal, physical or psychological abuse involved. The couple may be angry at each other but they say sorry when it’s their fault and show genuine interest to make things right. Couples who have healthy conflicts tend to become closer because they respect each other and they strive to overcome challenges together.
Hopefully, these tips will help you see what needs to be improved in your relationship with your partner. Be patient and take it one step at a time! All the best!