The First Year As Mr & Mrs
The wedding was beautiful; the honeymoon was unbelievable. Now you’re back to real life. Only now, your real life is different from the one you left behind. You’re now Mr & Mrs.
Be prepared for a period of adjustment. You are now living with someone who was brought up with a different set of beliefs, morals and habits. You may be an early bird; he may be a night owl. You may be a neat freak; he may be a walking mess. You may want two children; he may want eight.
To make this transition smoother, here are some suggestions:
- Iron out details of your life together – how many children, who does which chores, who pays for what, etc. You may have different opinions, but talk about it and come to a compromise that you’re both happy with.
- Let your spouse know what you want. Tell him you need his help tidying up the house. Tell her that you’d rather spend the weekend alone with her than with her family. Don’t expect your spouse to read your mind.
- You are going to be his/her go-to person for the rest of your lives. Show respect in your tone and by listening to what he/she is saying.
- Thank your spouse – even for little things. It shows you notice what they’ve done.
- Pick your battles. Decide if something is important enough to fight about. If it doesn’t hurt the relationship or others, you might want to let it slide.
- Solve problems. Don’t blame or accuse when a problem arises; but don’t pretend the problem doesn’t exist either. Instead, assess the situation objectively. Share your thoughts and offer a solution that will fix the problem.
- Now that you’re married, you need to put more effort into making your relationship work. Get dressed, go for a romantic dinner or a stroll. Start the date by telling them something they had done the past week which meant a lot to you.
The beginning of married life is often the hardest. Once you’ve set the foundation, your lives should build around it quite nicely.