By Melanie P’ng
Just as Cinderella danced with Prince Charming; Ariel rescued Prince Eric; Aurora shared true love’s kiss with Prince Philip, it was at that moment when they have found the one. And they lived happily ever after. Well, you are married but will you live happily ever after with your prince? While fairytales promise us a happy ending, in the real world we know it is otherwise. It is challenging but not impossible.
Similar to making the perfect cake, we need the right ingredients. Marriage needs both spouses to be willing to make things work. Even with the right ingredients but if the bakers are unwilling to work, the outcome would be anything but a great and successful dessert. So put on your toque, here are five main ingredients you will need:
- 5 cups of patience
Have you ever felt so frustrated because you have asked him to take out the trash an hour ago but it is still lying there at the same spot, unmoved? At times we get so irritated with their bad habits, we yell at them for being so inconsiderate and that was the beginning of all arguments. We get so caught up making sure our home is perfect, we forget our spouses are also humans. We forget that they are imperfect and flawed. Patience is important as the foundation of marriages because we are quick to jump into conclusions. We should tolerate and accept their flaws.
- 3 cups of trust
Trust is one of the keys to healthy marriages. Being honest to one another is one way of building trust. No matter good or bad, we should not keep any secrets from our spouses. Husbands or wives are our best friends. We should trust them enough to tell our darkest secrets. Of course, we ourselves should cherish the trust they have given us. We should not go about betraying them.
- 2 tablespoons of communication
Communication goes both ways. Being all ears for them when they need to rant or even be there when they need a shoulder to lean on. Advise them or give a little encouragement and it will go a long way. We should be able to tell them anything, even the silliest ideas. Tell them what your current favorite movie is or even the dessert that puts the cutest smile on your face. Sometimes, a ‘thank you’ could light up their day. Even small gestures like opening the door or even pouring a glass of water deserves a ‘thank you’. You will never know what these two words could mean to them.
- 1 teaspoon of love
Love, a little goes a long way. Of course, love is one of the reasons why you married him/her. Loving our spouses is one thing and showing them that we do is another. We should show constant affection to them despite the daily ‘I love you’. Let them know how much they mean to you. Besides showering them with gifts, a small hug or even spend some quality time with our spouses could just show how much you really love them.
- A pinch of surprise
We should keep fanning the flames so that the love does not die down. A surprise could spark some flames. There is no need for a special occasion just so you can bring him/her for dinner. Let it be like old times, bring them for a movie date, surprise them with flowers and chocolates, go for a road trip or even a surprise spa session!
Sift your ingredients with; doubts, insecurities and add forgiveness.
After sifting all the unwanted ingredients, mix the remaining with a lot of strength, perseverance and care. Every marriage will go through high temperature in the oven but as you make it work, the outcome would be worthwhile.