Sure, you have attended more than a few times of weddings, but do you know the etiquette of being the best or maybe close to perfect wedding guest? Sure, Malaysian’s weddings don’t usually have that much rules on how to be a good wedding guest. Because let’s all face the fact that we Malaysians don’t follow rules that much either. But if your friends are soon going to have a wedding, or maybe even your favorite cousin, you might want to show a little effort. Don’t worry, dearies, it’s not that hard. If the westerns can do it, so can we. So here are the list of do’s and don’ts for wedding guests.
Wedding Guest: The Don’ts
Don’t show up later than the time given
Okay, yeah, this is a pretty much normal thing Malaysians do, but why can’t we change that? Instead of arriving 1 hour late, why not show up half an hour early? The time stated on the wedding card has clearly shown that the ceremony starts at 12 in the afternoon, why show up at 3 in the evening? This is not the time to be fashionably late. Although most Malaysian weddings don’t usually really care about the time of your arrival, but it is good to know that the people they invited are on time to see their lives become one.
Don’t bring your plus one or two or six
Unless the invitation card stated, “Encik Anwar and family,” then you can bring the whole family. If it said, “Encik Anwar and plus one” or “Encik Anwar and Wife,” then you can bring your plus one. But if it only states your name and none other, you should attend on your own. Or if it doesn’t state ‘plus one’ addendum, you should attend alone. You may not know if the soon-to-be brides and grooms have a budget or not. So the least you could do is have some courtesy. Don’t ask the bride to be and groom to be too! Unless they are your cousins, then you could. But we don’t recommend it. Because some couples might be embarrassed they can’t invite more people to their wedding. You don’t want them to feel obliged or forced to invite your plus one when you ask them.
Don’t bring a large gift
Hold up, this does not apply to the weddings that have their weddings in front of their houses. If they do, you can. Because they don’t have to scratch their head trying to think of the ways to fit the gifts inside their cars. But if the wedding is in a public hall or at a hotel, we don’t recommend you to bring a large (and heavy, phew!) gift to the wedding. Unless, they are the one who suggested the gift, then you could. Plus, if you bring a large gift, you have to lug it everywhere you go! Not until you get to hand the gift to the one who are in charge of the gifts.
Don’t use your phone
We are as guilty as you are. We can’t help but snap away the photos of the bride and groom, the bridal bed or dais, the adorable baby sucking his thumb. Yeah, we get it. But please do keep in mind that some couples may not want their wedding guest to be on the phone all the time. They might think their wedding is too boring or too plain. Consider their feelings too, and as a guest of their wedding, you should honor their ceremony. But unless the couples have created a wedding hashtag and they recommend you to use it, then be their guest: snap away!
Wedding Guest: The Do’s
Do send in your RSVP
Okay, Malaysian weddings don’t usually have this. But some do. If the invitation card requires you to send in your RSVP, then please do, even if it’s just your cousin’s wedding. They might want to include your name on the attending list so they could alter their budget and tell their vendors. RSVP is important. It’s not some fancy term for wedding invitation. Some may depend on your reply to know if you are coming or not. Since today is a modern world, you don’t have to post it through snail mail or you know, post laju. Email or text message, or even Whatsapp is more than enough.
Do congratulate the bride and groom
The reason you go the wedding is to meet the bride and groom. Even if the one who invited you to the wedding is their parent, you still should meet them before you go back. That’s the whole reason you attend the wedding. Despite the fact that you attend the wedding because you want free food (busted!)
Do dress appropriately
If the invitation card includes a dress code, follow them. But if it doesn’t, then dress appropriately. Baju kurung or abaya is common for wedding guests to wear. But if you prefer to wear something else, just avoid wearing something that’s either revealing, over the top or inappropriate like jeans and sweatshirt.