If you’ve noticed, at every Chinese wedding, there will be an elderly lady who chatters and sings non-stop from the moment the groom fetches the bride till the end of the tea ceremony. This lady is known as the ‘Dai Kam Jie’ or Bride’s Chaperone.
Nowadays, to become a ‘Dai Kam Jie’ is not easy because one has to master the few main Chinese dialects, go through professional training and also possess a sense of humour when handling the wedding. Being able to sing is a plus point!
If you are new to this, don’t worry, look around for potential candidates and ring them up. Make an appointment with them and discuss these details as followed:
1. Shortlist and Meet Up
After shortlisting some of the many ‘Dai Kam Jie’ in town, book an appointment with them to have a chat and also to get to know more about them. It is important that the chaperone has the attitude that you are looking for in a ‘Dai Kam Jie’ because she will be talking most of the time and you wouldn’t want her to spoil the mood of the wedding.
2. Ask About Her Services
Remember to ask your ‘Dai Kam Jie’ if she is experienced in the bethrothal ceremony, installing of the bridal bed, hair-dressing ritual and other services. Be specific at what you want and ask if she can fulfill your requests. This is why we suggest that you meet up with a few chaperones first before deciding on which one you will hire.
3. ‘Dai Kam Jie’ for Morning or Full Day?
If all your relatives can be present for the morning tea ceremony, then you do not need to have the ‘Dai Kam Jie’ for the wedding dinner. However, if you have a bunch of relatives from overseas who can only make it for the dinner and insist to have the tea ceremony, you can consider to hire the chaperone for the whole day. Discuss the rates with your ‘Dai Kam Jie’.
4. No Need For That Extra Angpow
You do not have to give your ‘Dai Kam Jie’ an extra angpow aside from her quoted fees but if you feel that she did a very good job, go ahead and give it to her.
5. Discuss the Flow of Agenda
After determining which ‘Dai Kam Jie’ you want to hire, make sure you brief her on the flow of the wedding or any key person that she should remember at the tea ceremony. Also, tell her that during the gate-crashing ceremony, instead of nagging the bridesmaids to open the door, tell her to remind the girls and that you will do your part in reminding your bridesmaids about the time to open the door.