Our Wedding Journal

Traits You Need To Learn Before Getting Married

Marriage traits

It is a typical love story you heard and seen in movies. How girls are blinded by the hilarious sense of humour of a guy. He has all the good traits in him. The perfect guy who is funny, kind, patient and everything else is good. He makes promises and talks about the future and marriage. And you hoping to tell your perfect love story to your grandchildren.

But this is too good to be true.

In time, your young love will fade. The sparkle in your eyes will turn to mundane gazes after years of marriage. And promises were clanging tin cans which are empty and cold. But you knew perfect marriage will teach you there is no such thing as perfect.

One thing you are sure is that this marriage is to keep. Divorce is never an option. So you eventually take a step back and understand how and what are the marriage traits for two people to work together. Marriage is a lifetime investment with day-to-day commitment and year-to-year decisions.

In fact, marriage teaches you how to grow not as an individual but as a pair. It is the quality you have with your spouse determined by the quality you have in yourself. And happy marriage does not come from a perfect couple. It comes from the enjoyment of differences in an imperfect couple.

So what are the traits you should learn from marriage?

Marriage Comes From Empty Box

It is true that marriage comes from an empty box. You have to put something in it. Love is from each other and not marriage. Thus, couples must infuse romance into their marriage. And it starts from the art of giving, forgiving, praising, loving and so forth to keep the box full.

Forgiveness is saint

Let’s face it that in marriage, we fail each other more than we had like to admit. We tell each other’s white lies, get angry, quarrel and so on. So instead of shifting the blames and dodging responsibility, isn’t better when we say sorry? Marriage gets stronger the moment you learn to forgive because it often leads to healing.

Marriage is a partnership

In marriage, no one should be in charge. If you disagree, thrash it out and listen to one another in a respectful way. Share your thoughts with your spouse and discuss the issue. It often takes a concession to keep the peace. But do stand from each other’s point of view.

Time is the most precious gift

More often than not, we got so busy with children and career after marriage that we slowly forgot to spend time together. Pretty sure we heard and read this piece of advice a hundred times. But it can be as simple as a movie night after the kids are asleep. So instead of spending most of your time staring at your devices and being more concern with your social media platform, why not feed your relationships with more time? Listen to each other’s heart and be there emotionally.

Comfort Each Other

Fairy tales are great for movies, but real life is confusing and chaotic. So when time gets hard, comfort each other. Be there physically and emotionally to ride through the storm. Because mentally and physically support is what needed in a marriage.

Honesty is the best policy

We know how marriages end in pain. Divorce at the age of 50. And there are days you realize that it’s far easier to give up than keep fighting. But if you keep choosing each other every single day, your marriage won’t end. In marriage, couples need to be brutally honest with each other. Because at the end of the day, it’s worth it.

Nevertheless, in every marriage, there are imperfections and it takes effort to keep it steady. Marriage teaches you to put your needs before anyone else’s and not be controlled by your emotions. At the end of the day, love conquers all. Marriage would not be strong if it lacks love. It helps you to removes doubt and pushes you through fear yet invite purpose. Love wins in marriage.

Visit our website for more marriage and wedding tips!

Traits You Need To Learn Before Getting Married was last modified: March 19th, 2018 by Valerie Tan