Shang Tou (上头) | The Final Wedding Ceremony Before Your Special Day

You’re at the home stretch! Now that you’re done with the ‘An Chuang’ (??) ceremony, you’re almost there! Preparations for your wedding day have all been completed and you’re one sleep away from tying the knot and living your happily ever after with your special one. But before that, there is one last ceremony that needs to be done in order to ensure a long-lasting and happy marriage – The hair combing ceremony ‘Shang Tou’ (??).

What is ‘Shang Tou’?

‘Shang Tou’ is a hair combing ceremony that is done by a Good Fortune Lady or the bride and groom’s parents to bless their marriage, and is also a coming-of-age ceremony to signify that the bride and groom are now adults. This ceremony is conducted the night before the wedding day, and is normally done in the bride and groom’s respective houses as they’re not allowed to see each other 24 hours before the wedding! Based on your dialect, the timing might differ but in general, the groom begins the ceremony ahead of the bride. A general guideline would be giving the groom a 15 minute or 1 hour head-start. The ceremony is usually conducted at around 11 pm or midnight.

What do you need?

In general, regardless of whether you are Hokkien, Hakka, Teochew or Cantonese, the things that you need are pretty standard. Here’s a list of what you need for your ‘Shang Tou’ ceremony for the bride, groom and the altars.

Bride

• 1 ruler
• 1 mirror
• 1 piece of red string (to be tied to the bride’s hair at the end of the ceremony)
• 1 rounded comb
• Thuja leaves (optional)
• 1 plate of lotus seeds, red dates and dried longans

Groom

• 1 ruler
• 1 mirror
• 1 piece of red string (to be placed in the pyjama pocket at the end of the ceremony)
• 1 pointed comb
• Thuja leaves (optional)
• 1 plate of lotus seeds, red dates and dried longans

On the Altar (2 sets – one for the bride, one for the groom)

• 1 pair of Dragon and Pheonix candles
• 3 Joss sticks
• 3 bowls of glutinous rice ball soup (6-9 pink glutinous rice balls
• Fruits and meat
• *Teochew – 2 eggs with mee sua is served instead of the glutinous rice balls

What’s the ceremony process?

1. Ceremony is performed in a room where the moon is visible (so that ‘yue lao’ ?? can watch over the couple)
2. Set up everything on the altar (you may refer to the images above as a guide)
3. Bride and groom shower with pomelo or pomegranate leaves
4. Bride and groom should change into new set of pyjamas (new shoes, toothbrush, towels etc should be used to signify new beginnings)
5. Light the Dragon and Phoenix candles
6. The good fortune lady or bride and groom’s parents will comb the bride and groom’s hair four times while reciting the following lines :
   1. ?????, –“May your marriage last for a lifetime”
      ??????, –“May you be blessed with a happy and harmonious marriage until old age”
      ??????, –“May you be blessed with an abundance of children and grandchildren”
      ??????. –“May you be blessed with longevity”
7. The red string is then tied on the bride’s hair or kept in the groom’s pocket to signify the end of the ceremony
8. Bride and groom will then be served a bowl of pink glutinous rice ball soup

Cantonese/Hakka variations

During the ceremony, the groom will face the wall with his back against the door. The bride will do the opposite and face the door, with her back against the wall.

Teochew/Hokkien variations

The bedroom door must be locked and admittance prohibited. During the ceremony, the groom faces inside the room, whereas the bride faces the ancestors.

And that’s it! With the end of this ceremony, it means that you’re done with all the complicated traditions and you’re ready to tie the knot. Ensure that you get plenty of rest as your wedding day will be a long one filled with a lot of activity. One thing to note, for some modern couples, they choose to forego this ceremony due to them employing professional hair and makeup services so it’s really up to you!

Either way, you’re all ready to spend the rest of your life blissfully married to your other half with the blessings from your ancestors and family. If you’re not sure if you’ve missed out on anything, check out our Ultimate Wedding Guide for stress-free planning and timeline. Visit Wedding.com.my to get all you need for your wedding in one place!