“Dear Aaron was a nervous wreck, thinking about the next few minutes of his life and if he should or should not proceed with this. Standing in front of his girlfriend’s house while she is away on a business trip, he asked himself again if he is ready for this.”
Asking for a parent’s blessing is a tradition and a sign of respect to your future bride’s family. Before going for the man-to-man talk with your potential dad-in-law, talk to your girlfriend first. No, don’t ask her to marry you yet. Ask her in a subtle manner if she sees a future in this relationship and joke on how many kids you would like to have. Does she sound ready to commit or could her career be in the way? This would give you an idea if the time is right.
Make the effort to meet up with your girlfriend’s family first. Get to know them and bond with them. Give them the right impression that you are financially stable and is responsible to have a lasting relationship with their daughter. This is essential and would probably be the key factor of them saying yes instead of no.
Look at things from her family’s point of view and address their potential concerns. Few of the common concerns are within these few areas:
– Are you trustworthy?
– Do I want you to be part of my family?
– Can you make her happy?
– Are you financially stable to give my daughter a comfortable life?
– Will you hurt my daughter?
– Are you ready to settle down with my daughter for rest of your life?
If her parents are divorced, who should you approach? There is no easy answer for this. Unless she is estranged from one of them, be sure to ask both. You should have an idea if her mum or dad is closer to her.
Find a suitable time when she is away and make an appointment with her family. It would be a bonus point, if you came bearing gifts like a fruit basket. Prepare your speech. They want to know what you have to say to convince them. Don’t forget to shave and dress up. This is an important occasion and probably, the second most nervous moment of your life, apart from the proposal itself.
Put them in your shoes. Tell them about your journey with her and how she became a big part of your life, how she came about to care for you and nurture you when you were in poor health and lift you up at your lowest moment. Tell them that you want to do the same for her and calls her your wife.
Now, here is the difficult part: Waiting for her parent’s verdict.
In the perfect world, they would say yes to you. But remember, if they don’t think that you are the right person, chances are there that they will not give your blessing. And if *touch wood* the parents say no, you have two options; marry her anyway or wait for a second opportunity. Don’t give up and understand the reasoning. Give yourself another 6 months before doing this again.